Fay in the house, from the trailer.

This page is about the character. For other uses of Fay, see here.

Fay Løren (also spelled Loren) was a major character in Van Helsinki. Her parents were killed in a fight between Geoff Vampire and Van Helsinki and she vowed to hunt down the vampire and kill him for killing her father.

Early LifeEdit

Fay was the daughter of Mr. Løren and Esmé Loren. Unfortunately, her father had a gambling problem and somehow gambled away his life to Geoff Vampire. However, as Geoff put it, 'complications arose' and Geoff decided he had to kill Fay's father. However, Løren had got wind of Geoff's plan and phoned the police, who put Van Helsinki, their 'best man', and his assistant Professor Ford, on the job. Van and Ford turned up at the Løren's house, but were too late to stop Geoff killing Løren in front of young Fay. Van Helsinki instigated a gunfight which killed Esmé (Word of St. Paul says it was Helsinki's own bullets which killed her). Fay was also presumed dead by all but Van Helsinki, who noted 'they never found the daughter's body'. Fay escaped somehow, and swore revenge on Geoff Vampire for killing her father.

Meeting Van Helsinki againEdit

Several years later, Fay had matured into a young woman, skilled in gunfighting and whose sole purpose was to kill Geoff Vampire. She saw Van Helsinki arrive in the village, but apparently did not recognise him from all the years before. Fay phoned him and told him to meet her and to 'bring sandwich pickle'. Helsinki complied, and Fay, after taking the pickle for her sandwich, told the ex-policeman to go home, as she felt it was 'not like the city' and that he was 'trouble'. Helsinki, after quizzing her on Geoff, refused, which started a gunight. Fay's skill at arms was demonstrated as she shot Helsinki's bullet out of the air, and the duel ended in a draw.

The DealEdit

Fay and Van Helsinki struck a deal which meant that Van Helsinki could kill Geoff if Fay got to make him suffer. They then mounted a raid on the house in which the Vampire was staying. Fay headshotted Jim, who was possessed by Geoff, and confronted the man who killed her father. Geoff was confused, as he believed that Svetlana was in fact Fay. The standoff was broken by Van, who attempted to shoot Geoff, but the vampire merely 'poofed' away. Helsinki told Fay to check downstaris while he looked upstairs. Fay complied, accidentally walking into a door due to the shock of seeing her father's killer 'in the flesh' once more.



Fay in the House, from the trailer.

Fay encountered Woman, wrapped in a blanket on the kitchen table of the house. Woman, angered at the two 'death's' she had suffered, attempted to attack Fay, only for Fay to shoot her. Fay then noticed Man and Jim, Geoff's henchmen, carrying an unconscious Van Helskni out of the door. Fay challenged them to a gunfight, and eventually won, shooting both of them. Her victory was to be shortlived. Geoff himself appeared behind her and knocked her unconscious with a frying pan. Fay was then taken down into Geoff's lair and, along with Van Helsinki, tied to a chair.


Fay and Van are brainwashed by Geoff's machine

The SchemeEdit

Geoff revealed to Fay that he was an alien, and planned to transport everyone back to his home galaxy of Stevenage to complete his unspecificed scheme. Fay was unaware of her father's killer's true identity, and was shocked at his outer-space revelations. This did not, however, prevent her from kicking him him in the groin, something which appeared to hurt space-vampires as much as normal men. Fay's defiance could not save her and Van Helsinki from being mind-controlled, and the two, along with Man, Woman and Jim, were forced to fight Svetlana when she arrived. While Fay demonstrated far more precision and coordination than the rest of the assailants, she too was defeated by Svetlana. Geoff 'poofed' away, leaving Svetlana to destroy the control panel and free Fay and the rest from the mind-controlling influences.


Fay and Van Helsinki carreid on their search for Geoff, but, unbeknownst to Fay, the brainwashing and failure to catch Geoff had partially unhinged Van Helsinki. After meeting the Creepy Man, and discovering Geoff's location, Van promptly refused to let Fay go with him. When Fay protested that they 'had a deal', Helsinki simply resloved the issue by shooting her twice in the chest, and then once in the head for good measure. Van then ran off to confront Geoff, leaving Fay's corpse in the entrance to the house.


For more information on Fay's weaponry, see here.

Fay used several guns of different sizes in different situations. She carried two pistols on thigh holsters for quickdrawing, and then other guns and weapons as the need arose. She proved herself to be a skilled gunswoman during both the duel with Van Helsinki and the gunfight with Man and Jim, which she won without being injured. We see her in close quarter combat armed with a hoe fighting Svetlana, and she has a very skilled spinning style, quite unlike the other brainwashed people's uncoordinated movements. This implies that, when unbrainwashed, Fay could probably beat most of the other members of the cast in hand to hand combat as well, making her exceptionally deadly.


  • Van Helsinki
  • Man (while both were being mind-controlled)
  • Jim (while both were being mind-controlled)
  • Woman (while both were being mind-controlled)
  • Geoff Vampire (while being mind-controlled)

Behind the scenes and triviaEdit

  • Fay Loren was played by Mischa Purnell in the film.
  • Fay was never originally meant to die, instead she would actually kill Geoff at the end. Problems with the shooting schedule meant that this was rendered impossible, so a simpler end had to be found.
  • Fay's death was the first scene to be filmed featuring the Mozambique Drill.
  • Fay uses the second largest number of guns in the movie, at four. Van Helsink is top, with eight.
  • The spelling and pronounciaion of Fay's surname is debatable. Word of God says it is written with the accent and pronounced 'Luhr-en'  (as by Van Helsinki in the film) but the credits read Løren/Loren and it is left ambiguous. Adding further confusion, Mischa Purnell expressed wishes that she could go back and dub over her dialogue with an East-European accent (and perhaps change the pronunciation), though this was never carried out.
  • Her name is prononunced in various ways, 'Luhr-en' by Van Helsinki, 'Law-ren' by Inspector Someone-Who-Is-Not-David-Bowie, and 'Lo-Ren' by Fay. Word of God says the first was supposed to be the correct pronunciation, but that events during filming lead to the disparity.